Monday, June 18, 2012

Older than Dirt

That's about how I'm feeling right now. It may have something to do with the excitement couch-surfing and television brings me these days, or the level of difficulty in getting around despite being only 4 months pregnant, but I am feeling like a 70-year old woman.

What's provoked this line of thought in my consciousness? My littlest sister graduated from high school recently, which means I've been out for 18 years. That is not possible. The thought of a 20-year reunion (shudder) doesn't register. Of course, I probably won't be invited, like my 10-year when they didn't bother to find me. I wasn't that bad.

What gets me the most though is those things we did in our early 20s through early 30s that are now "over". Mainly freedom to be selfish. Right now I'm not necessarily missing getting hammered on random Thursday's, flirting with disaster (for the record I married him), and taking off for vacation on a whim. But I do mourn the passing of this phase. It was a good one.

Now it's marriage and anxiously and eagerly awaiting the arrival of our little Bean. I'm certain this will be a high point in my life as I reflect on my death bed (hopefully a long time from now), but this particular transition has me feeling aged. Gardening, nursery decorating, reading and eating healthy are my new hobbies. I've even taken to wearing a lot of cardigans. Basically becoming everything I never thought I'd be.

There is one thing for certain however that I know will not change. I will not be cutting my hair. Long live the long hair, even if it's gray (found one of those the other day too).

And now for a nap.

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