One day, when my child asks me what I do for a living I am going to tell him that I am a Ring Master. Because managing three rings of activity is what I do all day long. I manage up, I manage down, and I manage out. Not to mention the circus animals.
At the highest level, I love my job. Because what I do keeps people employed, makes companies productive, and is a win-win for everyone involved. I'm a "subject-matter expert" who helps clients do the right thing. And I'm good at it. Really good. Which is why I want to keep doing it. Not for a second have I ever believed I'd be a stay at home mom.
But being a Ring Master requires a lot of stamina...juggling priorities, running from meeting to meeting, mentoring teams, multi-tasking to a fault, firefighting, and seeing more planes than anyone other than a flight attendant should in a 30-day period. You have to be a hell of a whip cracker. And understand that 9-5 is a rough guideline, at best.
Which is all fine and dandy. When you're 24. My track record will clearly demonstrate that I am not afraid of hard work. But lately, come Friday night I am incapable of anything requiring any level of thought or skill. No exaggeration, I can often barely speak. So I got to wondering, has it always been like this, or have things just gotten crazy? Or, has my pregnancy changed my perspective?
It made me think, REALLY think, about what I actually DO, and I've come to the conclusion that there's a lot of "interference" and "filler" in my day. Most importantly, filler and interference that does not need to be there. If I could cut the stupid, I'm certain I could maintain some semblance of normal hours and deliver a higher quality product to more customers. Which in turn means, you got it...more business.
There has got to be a better way to do this. And I am determined to define it. It's very clear that if it is to be it is up to me. So in true Courtney nature I will create more work for myself in this quest, but hopefully reach an outcome that makes it a little bit easier for all of us so we can focus on the challenges that really matter. And get shit done. More shit.
I'm tired of being tired. And I cannot imagine for a fraction of a second pulling this off when my baby boy arrives. Something has got to give.
Time to get those animals back in the cages.